The Gambit
by HexalianRebelAgent
Summary: The following story is a series of anecdotes involving a couple of boys constantly trying to best each other in the art of one-upmanship. To achieve this goal, they appeal to their readily accessible, sort of unorthodox method: The Ticklers' Gambit.
1. The Rules are as Follows

_~The following story is a series of anecdotes involving a couple of boys constantly trying to best each other in the art of one-upmanship. To achieve this goal, they appeal to their readily accessible, sort of unorthodox method: The _**Ticklers' Gambit**. _Players shall start with 10 points apiece...~_

A certain John Egbert was feeling especially mischievous today, and giggled to himself as he wrote the first rule to the game.

"Hey, you." Dave Strider purred, wrapping his arms around John's shoulders and leaning over his head to read John's notebook. "The Ticklers' Gambit? What exactly are you getting at, Egbert?"

"Just a little challenge, Strider Dear." The shorter boy smiled, with a devious glint in his blue eyes as he looked up at his love's shaded eyes. "Hey!" he shouted as Dave snatched the notebook from his hand and sat on the opposite side of the table.

"You're challenging me, Johnny boy?" the cool kid asked smugly, looking over the top of his shades. "You do realize I can kick your ass at just about any challenge you hand me right? Not to mention you're pretty weak when it comes to this in particular." There was a loud thump as John's knee hit the underside of the table after Dave tickled his foot with his toe. He winced, but held a straight face as Dave laughed at him. He smirked back and adjusted his glasses.

"Then maybe you won't mind taking the challenge." He taunted, leaning his chair back and putting his socked feet on the table. "Since you're so sure you'll win. …Or maybe this is just another one of your 'cool guy' spiels and you're afraid you'll lose to li'l ol' me." Dave rolled his eyes and tickled John's toes.

"Get your goddamn feet off the kitchen table, ya slob." He ordered playfully, just before John fell back from laughing too much. "I'll play your stupid gambit; if only to show you who the true master of one-upmanship is." When John didn't get up with some witty comeback, Dave called his name. "Where did you get to, you- Ack!" John's laughter came from under the table, where he'd squeezed one of Dave's kneecaps; he loved that squawking sound he made when he was caught off guard. Of course Dave glared at him and slid off the chair, sitting under the table with him.

"Quit your screwing around and tell me the rules already." He said, and John smiled, reaching up onto the table and managing to find his pencil. He took back the notebook and resumed his writing.

"Well, rule one is that we both start with 10 points. After that, it works kinda the same as my old Prankster's Gambit: every time one of us loses a point, the other one gets it."

"Rose said that game sucked." Dave chuckled.

"Only 'cause she wasn't that good. Rule 2: Whoever has the most points after a week wins."

"And the tickling aspect comes in when?"

"I was getting to it! Rule 3 says that in order for the attack to count as one point, you would have to be tickled for 2 minutes strai- What are you doing?" Dave had taken the pencil without a word and edited the two minutes into three. John sighed, having enough sense not to argue about this when they were so close together.

"So, every three minutes is one point?" Dave asked softly, walking two fingers along John's spine and making him giggle and smack his arm with the notebook.

"Yes, Dave." John snickered. "But they have to be consecutive seconds, meaning no breaks."

"So, if I tied you down and tickled you for half an hour straight; that'd take all ten of your points away?"

"Y-Yeah…" John crawled from under the table, suddenly having a strong urge to put as much distance between himself and his boyfriend as possible.

"We doing negatives?" Dave asked, following him to the fridge.

"No, silly. That'd just be salt on a wound." John tore out the page with the rules on it and stuck it to the refrigerator with a few magnets. "Oh, by the way, I'll be keeping track of the points."

"What, you don't trust me?" Dave put his arms around John's waist, pulling him close.

"Nope!" John laughed, squirming away and bolting. "Let the Gambit begin!"

* * *

**Author's Notes: A good friend of mine from both school and deviantArt got me to read Homestuck, something I had actually started doing a couple years back, but stopped due to my lack of an attention span back then. I realize now that the story is not only confusing as hell if you don't pay at least 97% attention, but it's also one of the most epic stories I've ever read. So all Congratulations and source-material credits to Andrew Hussie. *applause* :3**

**-By the way, just for fun. Tell me who you think is going to win this Gambit.**


	2. Day One: Movie Night

Dave's incessant prattling was getting out of control. John had invited him into the living room to watch movies that evening, but he kept making his cool-guy comments and the occasional god-awful rap; although, he had to admit Dave has gotten a bit better over time. A little bit. Very little.

They were watching Con Air at the moment; John's favorite movie, and Dave's favorite time to pester John. He slipped his hands quickly under John's arms and yanked him into his lap during one of his favorite scenes, pinning his face into his chest so he couldn't see the TV. When the little EctoBiologist was done ranting about such actions, he got comfortable in Dave's lap. That is, until Dave pulled out another trick: he called it the Vampire Kiss. And there wasn't any warning. He wrapped one arm around John's waist, the other softly stroking along his jawline, and tilting back his head with his thumb. The blonde looked up just in time to notice John's eyes shifting to gaze at him suspiciously. Dave smirked and detoured from his plan, pecking him lightly on the curve of his ear. When John's focus was back on the movie, Dave lunged for his throat, nibbling at the nape of the Heir's neck much like a certain wayward vagabond probably would.

"Aah!" he cried out, laughing and flailing his legs. "D-Dave!" One of his hands was wrapped around the wrist under his chin, and the other was pushing at the front of Dave's pajamas, trying to fend him off. But getting rid of Rapping Vampires -who can't actually rap that well- is next to impossible compared to regular vampires, and now Dave was licking and kissing the "bite wound" he'd made in John's neck. It didn't help John any when he felt Dave's fingers slip under his pajamas and dig into his hip. Dave finally released the boy and smirked as he fell to the floor, his hair even messier than normal, his glasses all askew, and an incriminating red mark on his neck.

"Let's see." Dave murmured smugly, glancing at his watch. "That was just over 3 minutes, so I get one of your points." John huffed and pouted, pouncing at Dave, only to have him disappear in a flash. Reluctantly, John took a small notepad from the coffee table and recorded the time and the transfer of the one point.

**~Dave: 11 John: 9~**

Dave was lying on the couch, his head resting on a pillow. John straddled his back and softly massaged his shoulders.

"We have an agreement right, Egbert?" Dave asked simply, glancing back at him. John rolled his eyes and removed the boy's sunglasses.

"Yeah, yeah…" he said reluctantly. Dave had been complaining about a sore shoulder while they were watching Ghost Dad earlier, and John had made a routine Scout's Honor to do something about it and not even think about tickling him. Otherwise, in Dave's own words, there would be all kinds of hell to pay. John just chuckled and rolled his fingertips along Dave's shoulder blades. He'd been doing this for about 10 minutes now, and his Prankster's Gambit was starting to bug him. Dave just seemed so relaxed, and John was having trouble standing it.

"Oh, screw it." He smirked, and then dug his fingers under Dave's arms. He made that hilarious bird-like noise before trying to curl up and keep from laughing. According to their somewhat loose rules, it didn't really matter if he laughed or not, as long as John didn't stop tickling him. But that didn't stop John from wanting to see Dave lose his famous poker face. He quickly darted his hands to Dave's ribs and sides, scribbling his fingers into his flesh and playing his ribs like a piano. It took some persistence, but Dave broke down within a few seconds.

"Egbert, you're a dead man!" he laughed, the heel of his foot hitting John in the back of the head.

"Oh, am I?" John smirked, wrapping one arm around Dave's very belligerent ankle without stopping the assault on his side. "You're the one being tickled." Without missing a beat, he shifted his attention to Dave's socked feet, scraping his nails along his soles.

When he finally let up, or more so, Dave's struggling body got too difficult to hold on to, he grabbed his boyfriend's wrist to check his watch.

"Ha!" he shouted. "Read it and weep, Strider! Eight and a half minutes!" He looked into Dave's eyes and cringed at the fury he saw. He backed off nervously.

"D-Dave? D-Don't-" In a flash of black-and-white PJ's, John was flipped through the air and back onto the couch, one strong hand pressing his face into a pillow, the other twisting his arm, and a knee digging into the base of his spine.

"You promised…" Dave snarled in his ear.

"I-I couldn't help it, man. You practically baited me! I'll bet your shoulder wasn't even hurting that badly!"

"Well, it's not anymore, so I guess I'll let you off for that much." John relaxed as Dave's weight moved off his back. "But next time, you'd better watch your back. I'm going to bed…" John got up to follow, but Dave shoved him back on the sofa.

"Your ass is staying on that couch tonight, Egbert. It's the least you deserve." The shorter boy huffed, sticking out his tongue as the Strider strode up the stairs to their bedroom. Before going to sleep though, he made sure to record his small victory.

**~John: 11 Dave: 9~**


End file.
